Hello, blog-readers!

Greetings and welcome to my humble blog. Please be aware that I have no idea how to write a blog, what my target audience is or how this is all gonna pan out. Hmm looks like a bad start. But it will get better, I promise.

Here is where I shall post my personal commentary on the vast world of cinema, or at least the small portion of it that I can access.

I love movies because they can make me laugh, make me think, make me misty-eyed, make me insanely happy, make me cower behind a pillow and sometimes make me want to sing and dance around. I hope that my little posts will help you find some films that will make you do all of the above and pretty much anything else.

Many critics assign a grade, rating or star value to a film. I shall do the same, using a scale of 1 to 10. Now I know a lot of people get all touchy about ratings and can misinterpret the critic's feelings about the film based on the rating they give. For some people, a 6 is a pretty awful piece of work, but for others it might mean the film ain't perfect, but it's enjoyable. I shall now outline my meaning behind each rating I give

1- This film has absolutely no redeeming qualities. That means its poorly made, all the actors have the magnetism and talent of a pack of pencils and the script has probably been written by an ape of average to low intelligence. Plus the movie is so painful it can't even earn the label of "so bad its good". Avoid this film at all costs.

2- Pretty similar to a 1 movie but with only one redeeming quality, such as one decent performance, or a couple of good one-liners, or maybe just some well-made costumes or music. But still pretty horrible. This film is probably only for completists of a particular actor/director's work, otherwise, AVOID.

3- Again, definitely not a must-see, but not the absolute worst film you ever saw, either. Only slightly better than a 2 or 1. A "so bad its good" movie might fit in here for me.

4- A decent movie ruined somewhat by major flaws. Or a rather awful piece elevated to a degree by a few outstanding elements. Whichever.

5- This is middle-of-the-road stuff. The movie's got it's good points, it's got some bad ones. Or it's just so boringly average I can't place it on either side of the scale.

6- A 6 would be either a very wellmade film but its not so enjoyable, or quite an enjoyable film that's not so well-made. Nothing special, but hey, the positives outweigh the negatives, so this would make for painless viewing.

7- Wooo, now we're getting to the really good stuff. This'd be generally enjoyable, well constructed film. Worth your money. (All $17 of it. Yeah, thats seriously how much a ticket costs these days. Sheesh.)

8- Recommended. Just about everything's about it is great, with maybe a few annoying things. That, or everythings very good, but nothing's really excellent. In any case, an 8 is good for a fantastic night in (or day out, whatever).

9- Really a must-see. Only falls short of being a 10 because I'm nit-picky.

10- This is the whole shebang- brilliant performances, a memorable script, cleverly directed and just generally an awesome viewing experience. Not perfect (nothing is, is it?) but almost could not be improved upon. Anywho, any weaknesses are more than made up for by the overall excellent-ness of everything else. A Classic (with a capital C) that MUST NOT BE MISSED.


So that's my system. Hope that clears up any confusion for ya. To be honest, you'd probably be better off reading my actual review of the movie to get a better idea of my view of it. Or you could watch the movie yourself, but that would defeat the purpose of my blog wouldn't it? Hmm.